Aaron's blog

A few days ago we celebrated our wedding on New Years Eve, so I thought I would write about it.

We had a quick Christmas of sorts in the evening of December 23rd with my parents.  They gave us a set of keys to their condo, so we will need to get a visit planned out!  Then we left Mandan the next morning - Christmas Eve morning.  Our departure was close enough to our plan of 9:00am.  The 20 miles of roads just west of Fargo were a little icy but it was otherwise perfect winter traveling and we arrived in the late afternoon in time for a nice dinner and then gift opening.

Christmas Day was pretty relaxed and we didn't have anything scheduled.  Dave showed me his forge where I twisted some metal bar into an "A" shape and another piece into a looped tool holder wall thingy.  The forge is unique in being completely home built, including a burner built of black iron pipe with a wire-feed welder tip as the propane injection nozzle.  I got a bit carried away drinking beer around a campfire with Dave that evening and really felt that the next day.

So then we had about 4 days to finish preparing for the wedding.  On Monday we dropped my car off to get some mysterious noises checked out (was the brakes), went to a Hennepin County office to get our marriage license, and picked up some great pastries from Lunds & Byerlys on the way home.  One was a lobster tail which I had only ever heard of on the TV show Archer.  Very good!  Anna did A LOT of work on wedding details and I helped with a few things.  Melting the wax out of 95 votives and washing 55 glass vases sticks out in my memory of things that I did.  We also made a last-minute run to buy a sport coat for me to wear at the rehearsal dinner.

Thursday we packed and moved to the hotel--The Marquette in downtown Minneapolis.  We hauled several luggage carts full of stuff out of a couple of cars, to Anna's suite, to Daniel's room, and to the reception venue Windows on Minnesota.  Then it was soon time to head to the church for rehearsal which went well.  Dinner at the Women's Club was great, with a beautiful venue, great drinks, fun people, and an excellent beef tips and mashed potatoes meal.  Many people spent about an hour blowing up balloons for an arch at Windows, and I made it to bed around 11:00pm to get a solid 8+ hours of sleep in Daniel's room, where the men would be getting ready the next morning.

I have heard that the next morning was pure chaos for the ladies up in Anna's suite.  Men have it easier--Daniel invited me to join him in the gym at about 9:30 so I went and walked on the treadmill while he ran for 15 minutes, and then he coached me through some sit ups on a rubber ball and bench pressing some free weights.  We got our tuxes steamed well ahead of schedule, and then the photographer came around 1:00pm and we were off to the races.

From then on it was go go go for 12 straight hours!

I went down to the atrium for the first look and the photographer quickly learned from the security guard that she needed a permit to photograph there.  We still got the first look pictures done there but then quickly went up to Windows to do all of the family photos.  Rush rush rush!  Someone swore about someone bringing my gift over.  It was a very cool gift.  Everyone ran around like chickens with no heads, but many pictures were successfully taken.  Then we went down with the whole wedding party to get on the bus to go take photos outside.  We did a set with the whole group in a cool old-charm alley, and then just Anna and I around the corner in front of the shop where she bought her dress.  It was snowing moderately with 1/2 inch of fresh snow on the ground which I think will result in awesome pictures.  10 degrees was a little chilly though!  A park across the street called us over for a few more photos too.

We did some photos at the church and (not exactly sure on the order here) Anna and I were taken in the photographer's car for some other shots.  First on some bridge still with the beautiful falling snow, and then to a different bridge where the Grain Belt sign is.  It was getting a bit windy (cold!) but we survived.  The photographer (Kelly Birch) was amazing with keeping us moving and resolving/preventing so many small things that really could have dragged us down.  So tactful, charismatic, wise, etc.--she was a huge deal.  And we were so thankful to have her, because somewhere in here we got a text from the event coordinator at Windows saying she was going to be out of the office for a few days...starting now...WTF.  She must have had a family emergency or something.

We waited at the church, scrounged up some snacks, and then it was time for the ceremony.  I really enjoyed the songs we pick and the organist absolutely brought down the house with the last song (Joyful Joyful I think?).  It sounded so good!  I got surprised by having to repeat something during the ring vows about a "triune God" which I had never heard of before.  Everyone survived the cold for 5 minutes to do some sparkler photos on the church front steps.  Then off on the bus to Windows.

About 10 minutes into cocktail hour we spent 25 minutes gathering Kleins and Coopers for a large family photo, which I found to be a very frustrating use of time.  But ultimately I got plenty to eat and drink anyways!  The passed mini beef wellingtons were pretty good, and the shrimp was very nice especially when dipped in a little glass of sauce.  Bailey saved Jessica from dumping one of those glasses of sauce all over Anna's dress during cocktail hour: it was so close!  Jessica's speech was nice, Simon's was way long but good, mine was way short and unnecessary, and then we danced.

The photographer grabbed us at 10:30pm to do some more photos, some in a dark room up there, some in the atrium, and some with fireworks outside.  These seem like they will all be epic!  When we lit the firework fountains on the sidewalk some random person ran up and was warming his hands on it in the background of at least one photo.  Hilarious!

The midnight champagne toast was great with confetti everywhere.  Posing so much for the photographer right around that moment kind of sapped a little of the fun out of it but in the long run the memories will multiply as we have those photos forever.  Jason then monopolized the ear of the DJ for the rest of the night so things got a little crazy with some wild music, and eventually (far too late) the night drew to a close.

We were plenty tired and, frankly, in rough shape the next day.  We said good bye to many guests and spent time with others who were staying for various reasons, and then cleaned up some things at Windows.  My car battery was dead from the headlights being left on when family used it to get to the church for the wedding.  Chris and Kelly took us and 7 others to go ax throwing in the evening.  I had a great burger at the hotel bar and Anna had a steak at a little cocktail table between the couches in the lounge, then off to bed to start catching up on sleep!

The next morning we packed out all sorts of stuff from the hotel rooms.  There were no luggage carts to be found, so this meant many trips down to the parking garage.  Then we unloaded everything at Karen's, I drove the Boyce-Coopers from the hotel to Karen's, I had a Hotzza Motzza, we repacked, and we drove home.  We were so exhausted!  I had two energy drinks in the late afternoon/evening to stay alert while driving and still had no problem falling asleep around 11:00pm.

Now a few days later we have had a couple evenings to recover and make a little progress unpacking.  Married life has been good so far.

Yesterday we closed on our new house on 6th Avenue in Mandan.  It was a HUD house, having been foreclosed on sometime in 2020.  A stream of thoughts:

• It's an old house, built in 1890.  So there is a neat radiant heating system, high ceilings, large wooden trim, and a pretty traditional floor plan.  Overall it seems to have been kept up to date over the years.
• Who knows what happens during foreclosures!?  Supposedly some things were winterized, but the heating water pipes are burst in two visible places and the potable water system doesn't hold pressure.  So the most interesting part of the next week or two will be seeing how we do in the frozen pipe lottery.  Hopefully not too much plaster repair is needed once we are through with that.
• Today before work I stopped by and turned off all of the breakers.  This way nothing funny would happen when the power company came over and turned on the power while I was at work.  Then after work I went and dug through the pop-up camper at my parents' house to get my small electric heater, but could not find it.  $20 for a new one and I was on my way over to the house.  Some lights came on as I flipped the breakers, which was exciting.  I set up the heater in the utility room with the door halfways closed and left for the night.  It should get pretty warm in that room and at least take the edge off in the rest of the house.  At one point today I estimated that the heater (1500 watts running continuously) could heat the house to about 40 degrees above the exterior temperature but further though leads me to revise that down much further.  1500 watts = 5,000 BTU-hours and a typical furnace seems to be 60k-100k BTU, running at probably under 1/2 duty cycle unless it is super cold.  So maybe 30k BTU-hours to maintain about 60 degrees?  It's a pretty rough estimate.  I think it is probably not a linear scaling of BTU-hours per degree of temperature difference.  So I'll guess a 25 degree rise.
• Tomorrow I will see about getting a couple different parties in to look at the pipes.  One is the (plumber friend of the?) husband of a neighbor that my mom knows, the other is a mechanic that my dad knows.
• The house is in the Mandan Renaissance Zone and I confirmed with the city that the property has not previously participated in the program, which can only be done once ever.  So that will be a significant tax savings if everything works out well on that.

We left the boat on the hard in Deltaville, VA in early August with plans to return to Minnesota and North Dakota to see family and do a couple weddings.  Hopefully by the end of the two months I would find a job in Bismarck or Fargo.  The drive was just over 20 hours and since we left the boatyard at about 11:00am we spent the wee-est hours of the morning sleeping in the rental minivan at a rest area.  After a week or so in Rosemount we left Louise and headed to Dickinson to meet Tyrel and then ride with him to Whitefish for a wedding.  I recall that we really enjoyed cleaning out Tyrel's car in the morning before we left.  It's weird how it is fun to clean someone else's car!

The wedding (and hiking, Cold Smoke, mountain, shared lodge, etc.) were all great.  Then we had a blast volunteering in Medora where I worked outside service (moving golf carts around and cleaning them) and Anna worked laundry and retail.  Then after settling in for one night at my parents' in Bismarck we decided that it was now the best time to go see Anna's grandparents in Minot.  So we spent a few days there and then returned to spend a week preparing for my sister's wedding in the back yard.  That wedding was a great success too!

My job search was not so successful.  I had done a few video interviews but gotten no offers.  My mom tested positive for COVID and we were still living with her so we had to quarantine for her 10 days of possible contagiousness PLUS 14 days of time after that during which we might develop out own cases.

Quarantine was an interesting experience, and I can easily look back on it with positive or negative overall feelings.  The facilities (their house :)) were very nice so we were fortunate there, and had plenty to do.  I worked on job applications and interviews, and made a lot of OpenStreetMap contributions in south Bismarck.  I played some Minecraft: Dungeons, went on walks and bike rides, and worked on building a wooden bucket with my dad.

After quarantine Aaron went pheasant hunting and Anna went to Minot.  Then we headed to Rosemount to help Anna's mom move.  I did a lot of painting in the old and new houses, and then made many trips back and forth moving stuff.  I had brought a trailer down to pick up some unused used appliances for our house remodeling project, so that was handy to have for moving furniture and things.

About one week into November we rushed back to Bismarck on the last day of the warm spell.  The idea is that we would get the furniture off of the trailer and load some dirt from digging out an egress window into the trailer.  But about 20 minutes after we got the appliances unloaded the weather front came through, bringing cold, wind, and drizzle.  So I ended up loading the dirt a couple days later.  And then I finally got a job offer, and then a second one on the same day!  I accepted the one in Bismarck/Mandan and we are living in my sister's condo while we renovate it.

I few years ago I wrote this as part of some leadership training, specifically a program by Mel Nelson. The assignment was to write a personal portrait of (I think) how you function at work.

I have a personal portrait that centers on accuracy, finding facts, and making information-based decisions. Things like direct conflicts, rushed conversation, and failure to pragmatically evaluate problems will frustrate me.

Doing things accurately and precisely is important to me. I dislike it when people do just enough to solve the problem for now—a fix of the root issue is usually worth spending additional time to me. Naturally, other people may have a different view of the problem (customer-facing, therefore urgent, for example) and not agree with that sometimes. In such a case a great way to communicate that to me would be to ask for my time estimate and give feedback if that is outside your expectations.

Resolving conflicts with D or I type people is challenging to me. When people become emotional or aggressive while communicating with me I go into a defensive mode where I very carefully say only statements that I am certain are accurate and only say the minimum necessary to appease them and end the confrontation. Later, I will “catch up” and be able to competently debate the issue. Related to this, I often pause for several seconds to think before speaking. Some of the people I enjoy being around the most are those who wait for me to say what I am thinking about rather than taking it as an invitation to fill in the gap themselves.

So, in summary I like to work in non-surprising conditions with plenty of time to solve problems. Pressure applied in the wrong way may still motivate me or get results but will leave a lasting impression on me.

If I make the jump from work to personal and rigorously evaluate my fiancee (who I did not know at the time) against this writing, the labels "frustrating", "challenging to me", and NOT a "person I enjoy being around the most" would need to be applied.  Also I described a perfect comfort zone of "non-surprising conditions with plenty of time".  Everyone thinks they want some perfection like that but it can be a boring way to live life.  Opposites attract, variety is the spice of life, etc. and I think our life together is greatly interesting.

So I think this writing was some ideal of me but it is good that life is not ideal.